Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Leather Rebel

You know you're fuckin' metal when you have enough shirts from one band to last you a good week.

It's pretty brutal when your wardrobe consists only of band shirts. And especially if they're tour shirts, and you were at the shows, and they're soaked in sweat, blood, and some unknown substance you noticed as you were leaving the venue but haven't cared to wash off for fear of the novelty wearing off.

What the fuck is that shit anyway? Do I really want to know?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Break You

Maybe I'm just in a pissed off mood, but I really want to fucking crack somebody's skull in. I don't normally listen to very much death metal, but lately I've been in the sort of mood to beat the living fuck out of somebody and I need to channel that energy positively. So I do so with death metal. My current favorite is Miseration.

In any case, my metal thought for today is about a story that came out a while ago. Allegedly, Phil Fasciana, the guitarist from Florida death metal band was involved in a real-life shoot-out when he walked into a convenience store to buy some chocolate milk (which I fucking love) and realized it was being held up. He was shot at a couple of times, hit the deck, and when the gunman wasn't looking, snuck up behind the fucker and disarmed him. When the bastard reached into his sock to pull out another gun, Phil shot him twice in the motherfucking head, point blank.

The dude's head must have exploded and he must have been covered in blood. That's fucking brutal. I don't know if it's true or not, but at least we know what their next new song's going to be about.

Nothing more metal than a real-life experience with absolute brutality.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Electric Madness

You know what would be metal? Playing a show in an open field during a thunderstorm. You're pretty much guaranteed free pyrotechnics with all the lightning and electrical equipment, and if your guitarist's pickups are active, he can literally play until his strings melt.

Plus, what the fuck is more brutal than playing or attending a show where you're potentially putting your life in danger? May as well put on a suit of armor while you're at it. And wield a sword.

Everyone loves swords.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Blizzard Beasts

I just noticed my not-brutal air conditioner wasn't working.
So I put on some Immortal, and my place cooled right the fuck down. It's like the grim, wintry, frostbitten plains of the North are right in my room!

That's fuckin' brutal.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee is hands down the most metal actor out there. Not only was he in Lord of the Rings, which is established to be fucking metal in and of itself, but he also sang with fucking Rhapsody!
How brutal is that?

Alright, admittedly not very. But metal is not all about being brutal. You can be epic, too. That's the way I prefer it, anyway.

I know it's possible to be so brutal it's epic, but I wonder if the opposite is true.

Now that would be brutal. \m/

Sunday, July 5, 2009


You know what would be metal? Scattering your own ashes.
How fucking brutal is that?

Someone has to figure out how to do that and get back to me.